writing down vulgarity

there’s an edge of vulgarity that’s  fun — Fred and Ginger, Philadelphia Story… Cole Porter or twenty other great popular song writers. But, i can’t wallow in vulgarity… i can’t love rag dolls and elvis and chrome autos and king and queen of the prom. i want to know why these things exist, and i want to know everyone and what they are emotionally and intellectually. i’m very shy but i’m also professionally confidant — meaning, that even though i’m socially inept i can move freely among anyone doing anything professionally.

i have to be careful though, because my imagination and experience range a little over everything, and i’m drawn into bad situations. Just because someone plays ‘music’ or ‘writes poetry’ doesn’t mean that that means anything transcendent to them. i mean that i want to understand them and understand why they’re making music or poetry. Anyone smart could see my mistake, where i’m thinking in the abstract and not in the particular. reading wittgenstein taught me to look for the actual and particular use of a word like ‘poetry’. but, in the event, i’d just believe that the person i’m talking to knows more about writing than i do — most anyone does on some level. Abstraction is the framework for poetry, but not everything can be formed or understood as poetry. not if you’ve got a heart. Anyway, it’s a relief to not be posting in a net poetry herd site. just say’n.

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